My sister is stressed and distant. I want to help but don’t know how | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

As the older, ‘parentified’ child, it sounds like your sister has taken on extra responsibilities all her life. She might appreciate you wanting to show you care
• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader

I am in my 30s and the middle child of three sisters. We don’t see one another that often as we live across the UK, but try to speak regularly and meet up a few times a year.

I have always seen my older sister as more of a mum figure as our mum was explosive, cold and critical (we all have very little contact with her now). However, over the past few years our relationship has become more strained. Ultimately, I miss the closeness we had, but I’m also concerned for her wellbeing as she seems so stressed and overwhelmed.